It's not even there...

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back

11:06 pm 05.11.05

It's been so long since I posted here, I have a lot of catching up to do. Since I've already lived my life and talked about it a lot with other people I don't want to go through it all again, so this is going to be concise. For that I apologize.

I also apologize for the typos.

First of all, living with Beej didn't end up working out. The un-truths I spoke of in my previous entries ended up being a whole big pack of lies, which led me to believe that either he is a chronic liar or that he lives in some fantasy world in his head where the things he says are actually true. In any case, he's mental. Lies he told include: he had a job at the Garden (a local fetish shop) when he slept all day and never left the apartment; that he was enrolled in school taking all independent study classes for two quarters (hence the ability to sleep all day and do nothing!); that he was just being dicked around by his loan company, which is why he never had financial aid; and that I had tried to commit suicide (this to get out of a budgeting meeting planned for the Big Gay Student Group when we were both co-chairs). He ended up getting impeached as the male representative co-chair because he was slacking, he embezzled money (and eventually gave it back, but still), and the other officers were tired of his lies.

He would also do really stupid things like leave a candle lit in the apartment and then go to bed, and when I said something about it he said his "salamanders" would protect him. Err, okay.

One night after I'd gone to bed, the smoke alarm started going off. I got up and discovered a candle burning in the living room, so I put it out. The next day I said something to him about it and he was like, "Oh, is that what it was?" He heard the alarm go off and didn't bother coming out of his room to see what was going on.

We almost got evicted twice because of his non-payment of rent (I paid my half), and then in June our electricity got shut off because he never paid the bill (the electric was in his name and the gas was in mine). So instead of paying it or otherwise dealing with it, he just packed up and moved home and left me a note (because we were no longer speaking at this time -- his idea, not mine) saying that he owed them $700 and that "we" were going to have to borrow money from my dad to get it reconnected.

As if my father is some neverending font of money. Granted I ask him for things from time to time because he never paid child support and I figure he owes me, but I don't ask him to drop that much money at a time, especially not for someone else's mistake. Besides, the electric company wouldn't let me pay on Beej's account because I didn't have his social security or other information, so I ended up without electricity for a week and a half until finally convincing them to let me open an account and switch the balance from the apartment over to it so I could pay it.

I haven't seen him since then, thank goodness. He was pompous, lazy, hairy, smelly, and utterly untrustworthy. I'd probably ignore him now, but for a while there I figured if I ever saw him again, I would punch him in the face.

Then I lived alone in the two-bedroom for the entire summer. Toward the end of the summer, Beej's parents came and got all the rest of his stuff, leaving me without furniture or cooking utensils. Luckily for me, I was working at North Commons (a university dining hall) and one of the employees gave me some paper plates and an old cookset of hers. A friend of mine named Lori and I hung out a lot that summer, but then she graduated and moved home and I moved into my new one-bedroom apartment. I haven't seen Beej since then and I hope never to.

This year has been going all right. I haven't really failed anything, though I'm behind again as I had to take Chem again (I failed it last spring because the whole no-electric thing makes it hard to write lab reports) and take Math 150 again because, even though I technically passed with a D last quarter, they won't let me advance to Math 151 without a C or higher.

Right now I'm taking ornithology and a wildlife methods course, and I'm finding myself to be utterly enchanted by birds. On the wildlife camping trip a couple weeks ago, we spent most of the time looking at birds as opposed to reptiles, amphibians, or fuzzies, and I was one of the few people in the class who didn't get tired of it.

I don't really have friends anymore. I spend a lot of time alone and it depresses me a lot. I ended up in charge of the Big Gay Student Group again and since our attendance is dismal this year, that depresses me too.

I got a tattoo on my foot in October. It is beautiful.

I also started to take belly dancing lessons this past winter. That is beautiful, too.

Then || Now